Boxes

Boxes

We use them to pack our treasures...

...and our junk.

To ship a special gift.

Businesses use them to ship their wares.

In our home there is a very special box.

Yes, this very nondescript box.

Hidden on a shelf in our closet...

behind a soccerballl and a backpack.

Why then, if it is so special, is it high on a shelf, hidden away?

No, not hidden, sheltered.

In it, the physical life of a child.

Our child.

Our daughter.

In this box are treasures too few, representing a life so short.

A pretty dress.

Cards... sympathy... so many beautiful words shared by so many... thank you all for each and everyone...

there were even a few cards from a shower just weeks before.

Books... about grief, loss and recovery.

And inside, another box.

This box, I have to tell you was a surprise.

Todd and I had received a call from Shands saying they had a box of Esme's things.

My reaction was mixed.

Hopeful, for some representation of her life.

But skeptical.

Esme had nothing, what could there possibly be?

The counselor met us in the Chapel at Shands and handed us the satin box.

She expressed her sympathies, and left us to explore it on our own.

Inside, the booties you see below.

When they brought us into the NICU to say goodbye, they had dressed her.

A delicate pink onesie with little flowers covering it... with matching booties.

There were hand prints, foot prints, and even a lock of dark hair.

While these items are few, Todd and I will treasure them always.

Below is Esme's Beanie Baby.

It was in her crib in the hospital in Tallahassee.

Today, there will be no boxes, wrapped and sealed with ribbons.

It is the same thing on this day each year.

But always, we will treasure the gift of our children, all of them.

Below is a song from the band Selah.

"I will Carry You"

The man singing, whose name happens to be Todd, and his wife,

 lost their daughter just after she was born as well.

If you have the time, would you pause the media player on the blog and press play.

Just listen.

Happy Birthday Esme.

We love and miss you.

Thanks.

All our love,

The Harris Family